Posted on Thursday, December 7, 2017
If we are talking about relationships, it is normal for you to have different opinions and aspects from your partner's. It is also quite normal for you to be scared of fighting until you get into your first fight over these different opinions. Since it is your first fight, it can be overwhelming to deal with. If you do not know what to say or what to do after the fight, things can get a little rough between you. In most relationships, miscommunication triggers fights. If you do not know how to communicate effectively with your partner and deal with your first fight, here are some tips that you will need.
1. Listen
Listening is the key. Listening will make you see things from a different perspective, which is essential for two people to relate to each other's feelings. You shouldn't do it because you have just fought. Do it just to know your partner better. You should not only listen to your partner's needs and expectations, but also you should try to meet them as much as you can so that they can see how much you love and care about them. Do not interrupt your partner while they are explaining their point of view. It can make things worse.
2. Talk
After the fight, you might not want to talk about it but talking calms you down more than just thinking about it silently. You have to talk openly to solve your problems and tell your expectations. As listening broadens your perspective, talking does the same for your partner. Talking and listening are the necessary elements of communication that you cannot skip after a fight. By doing so, you can see the problem from both sides. It should be clear that this is not about deciding who is right or who is wrong about the fight. It is about finding a way to work it out for both of you. Never insist on your perspective, try to understand them. If you do not want to end your relationship after the fight, state that you want to keep them because you love them.
3. Show your emotions
While talking, try to talk about your feelings. It is vital to make your partner feel your love and affection. Some people are too shy to show their emotions, but it is the only way to determine the future of your relationship. Besides, expressing everything you think can and feel makes you more comfortable with each other and makes your relationship even better. Being honest about your emotions makes you happier and more intimate. It should not be a task after a fight. You should do it all the time. Try it sometime and see how great it feels.
4. Be respectful
The other rule is keeping it classy. There is no need to say both of you have to be respectful throughout your relationship, no matter what. Showing your emotions does not necessarily mean that you can be rude to your partner or say whatever your anger makes you say. Sometimes, it is hard to keep calm, but you have to try. Try to remember that they are the one you love, and you are hurting them out of your temper. Also, showing your partner that you can hurt them very easily will probably threaten the future of your relationship. Try not to use an accusing tone while talking because it can make your partner angry as well and we do not need any more anger, do we? Just do not say anything you will regret.
5. Give some time
Give your partner some time and take some for yourself. For example, you can take a walk or go to a place where you can relax. Taking some time away from your problem will make you think more clearly and calmly. It helps you realize things that you did not before. After you both calm down, you will be communicating much more effectively. It is also a good way to see how you feel about your partner since you are emotionally alone. You can speak your mind without being distracted by your emotions.
6. Apologize
Even if you think you are right about the fight, you should apologize to your partner or at least say you are sorry for all the things you put them through. No matter who starts the fight, both of you will be sorry in the end. Especially if you hurt your partner or say something disrespectful, you have to apologize first. You both should be nice to each other.
7. Forgive and forget
Forgiveness is a great virtue of humanity that leads people to happiness, so be forgiving. Forgive your partner if they apologize because it shows that they really care about you and want to express their feelings. Everything can be the same again so why not do it? Now that forgetting is the only way to go on, forget it and go on. If you cannot forget it, try not to remember it.
8. Do not bring the argument again
After the storms, calm down no matter how angry you are. The worst thing you can possibly do is bring the argument again. It will take you back to fight, and by considering the first fight I can say that this will be no better than the first one. Since both of you would be emotionally hurt and psychologically exhausted, a second fight would have a risk of separation. If you love your partner and do not want a break-up, all you have to do is forget everything except that you truly love them.
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