Posted on Thursday, September 21, 2017
When you sign up for an online dating website there are things you need to take care of so you can get the best matches and suggestions for you. Not even getting suggestions; but you want others to be able to find you, like what they see, and think they can get along with you by reading what you write about yourself. It seems very easy and straightforward but some people want to skip all those steps and whine about not finding anyone on a dating website. Here are 20 Online dating no-nos that you should know about and do what you have to create the perfect profile.
1. No photo
Whatever the reason that it may be some people leave their photo section empty and get mad when they get no responses or messages. Maybe when they first signed up they wanted to see the app or the website, or maybe they didn't want anyone they knew to see them. No photo profiles are such lost causes that when they talk about how they got no matches it just doesn't make sense. Of course, you couldn't find anyone, you probably looked like a fake account looking for some scamming. Even scammers put profile photos and try to look legit. Online dating requires photos and you need to find photos that are recent and taken in good lighting because those photos will be representing you to the world. A photo is the first step of reference. The first thing they see about you, so make it count to attract as many people as you can by reading our photo guidelines and putting a stellar photo up there.
2. Look at my body pics
Okay now that you have a photo on your profile let's go on to the next problem: people signing up on dating sites think that just slapping a photo will be enough, and think they are done. Little do they know they are so far away from being done that they may be considered not even started yet. Here is the thing, only one photo won't cut it and you shouldn't be posting provocative photos. This is not just for women btw, men without shirts are as bad as women who are obviously showing their bodies. If you put a photo showing off your body then all you will do is attract the wrong kind of people, instead go for nice classy photos that were taken in the afternoon. Try to borrow a friend's high-end camera instead of using your phone's camera for a more professional finish. Before we forget to tell you, don't post too many selfies they may make you seem self-absorbed.
3. Relying on your photo
Okay since we talked about the importance of a profile photo let's go on with how your photo won't save you the trouble of not filling in your profile information. Yes, it will be introducing you to the world, but it will not be enough for others to message you. Or worse you may not attract the right people you do want to talk to. They saw your photo and liked what they saw, now it's time for them to read what you wrote about yourself to see if you two would be compatible. If you do not fill it in they will not message you because they wouldn't know if you would be right for them. It is as easy as that, fill in all the blank spaces.
4. Writing an essay
Alright great, you decided to fill in your profile but here is another problem, don't be writing long essays about yourself. Write enough to create icebreakers for the other person, and put enough information about yourself so other people know who you are. However, don't confuse this with writing essays and essays of information on your profile. If you overwrite you will lose interest and lose others' attention. Think about it would you read a stranger's random life stories on a profile? I'm guessing no.
5. Spelling and grammar
Be careful when you are writing, both on your profile and when you are writing a message to a new love interest. Small mistakes can add up and make you seem unsexy, or even worse a scammer. The biggest red flag to watch out for to see if you are talking to a catfisher or a scammer is to be wary of their writing and spelling. So, if you do not pay attention you may be booted by other users.
6. Smiley faces and exclamation marks
If you are not a teenager you should be shying away from overusing emojis, exclamation marks, and text message jargon. We are definitely not saying don't use them, but overusing declines your chances of getting responses by 30% so just be wary of what you are doing and how you are interacting.
7. Exaggerations
Oh, the exaggerations- people can't seem to stay away from this online dating but they really should start. Yes, people do find out that you exaggerated your height or lied about your age. These exaggerations do indeed count as lies and all these lies come out eventually. So do yourself a favor and don't try to start a relationship with a lie, you will end up ruining your relationship and/ or getting blocked by the website.
8. Clichés
When writing your profile write about yourself and make sure to showcase your uniqueness, don't write some cliché words or sentences to be appealing to everyone and risk being unappealing to everyone. You don't need to attract everyone, you need to attract the people who want someone like you. So show them who you are on your profile.
9. Being Needy
Don't be needy, or at least don't show you are needy. Saying stuff like "ready to move on" or talking about how much your ex-hurt you can sound needy. Anything that sounds like you have emotional baggage may sound needy, everyone has their baggage but there is no need to show it in such a public place. To avoid looking needy use this trick: anything that puts too much pressure on the other person should be off-limits.
10. Negativity
When writing on your profile try not to sound bitter or negative. These are huge no-nos because when we are writing our profiles we may not think something sounds mean or negative but for someone else that can be interpreted as negative. Once you are done writing your profile show it to a friend, a second pair of eyes can detect any negativity and help you out on the long way.
11. Bringing down online dating
If you are using an online dating website and talk about how you didn't want to make an account but your friends forced you to, or act in any way you feel embarrassed of being here, you look like you can't even own up to it and would be brought down the person you are talking to because they are on the same website looking for love. Don't bring yourself down and don't bring others down.
12. Lists using the phrase "you will be..."
Don't create shopping lists of the type of people to message you, it doesn't work that way and you will only be bringing in negativity. Yes, there will be types of people you do and don't want, but you don't have to write a specific long list. It will look like you are shallow, judgmental, and negative especially if you are negatively making lists and you will look like you are describing your ex-partner. The best part of a dating website is that there are tons of people. You will eventually find people in your criteria, but it doesn't in any circumstance mean you can make a shopping list of what you want and do not want in a partner.
13. Being creepy and putting in TMI
When you are both writing your profile and messaging others make sure what you write will not sound creepy. When we say creepy we are talking about being in a conversation and out of nowhere asking questions related to sex.
On another note, don't give too much information on your profile, the person you are talking to shouldn't know you had a cat named Dora and it died when you were 8 years old because you stepped on it, your SSN, or any other confidential information. Keep things to yourself and keep them light.
14. Don't talk about how much money you make
Money and finances are a big no-no for online dating, don't mention it on your profile or message, anyone, about the subject matter. Money shouldn't come up anyways if it does then be suspicious of that person. If you are the one to bring it up, just don't because you will look like a douche and your response rate will drop dramatically.
15. Give up too easily
If you don't get a response right away from the first person you messaged don't give up. Online dating has its ways and one of them is that it has many people on there. One of them is bound to be right for you, it is the numbers game and you gotta play the game.
-----
For more articles, check out our blog posts. If you are ready to find the one for you, sign up or log in to your Waplog profile and date until you drop. Have fun.