Posted on Thursday, September 14, 2017
There are some Online terms that you might not be used to. There are new words, acronyms, and terms being added every day... Well, maybe not every day but with the internet, everything has been moving at a fast pace and it has been hard to catch up. If you are still in school or your social circle is smack middle of this scene, then you probably know what these terms mean. But, if you are out of school and new to the whole online dating scene here are some terms and acronyms defined.
Breadcrumbing- It gets its name from Hansel and Gretel, it's a dating approach taken by those who have no intention of being in a relationship. They send flirtatious texts leading someone on and then disappearing. They are very similar to Catch and Releasers. The act of sending out flirtatious, but noncommittal text messages (ie "breadcrumbs") to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort. They can do this here and there without much effort.
Catch and Release- This is favored by people who enjoy the chase part of a relationship. These types of people flirt and message with others online or offline just for the chase of it Once the relationship gets to a point where any sort of commitment would need to be made they disappear. As soon as someone takes the bait and starts to get attached, commitment-phobia will get bored and release them from the relationship.
Layby- Someone who is in a relationship but looking to get out finds new love interests and flirts with them to keep them close. These new love interests would be his laybies. These types of people who are looking to have a layby are mostly insecure and needy because they are not comfortable being single. Because they are afraid of being single, they are setting a "Next" option lined up. Be wary of these people because they probably have the next option on you too. They never want to be single, so they set the sketchy lineup. If his or her significant finds out there is nothing tangible but just sketchy. But, they are preparing to go on to the next one right after they end the relationship.
Cushioning- This term is very similar to layby, instead of having one you can get several human beings to cushion your main, so if things take a turn for the bad you have these human life-rafts. Also, another difference between layby is that cushioners don't cushion to get out of their relationship. They are just very good at saving; they save humans to cushion up their relationship. All they require is to send a little bit of flirtatious open-ended contact to maintain interest, you'll chat and flirt with to cushion the potential blow of your main break-up and not leave you alone.
Benching- Think of sports teams, they always have backup benched waiting for their turn, if it ever comes to that. This term comes directly from that when two people start talking but haven't committed to a relationship they are at risk of being "benched". This happens when one of them isn't exactly sure if they are ready to commit this one person and decide to bench them and look for someone else. They want to play the field and if nothing comes along, they might come back to play. Also, this is what Cushioners do to B- teamers. Be vary when your date doesn't want to meet in person but keeps messaging you, this is a very classic move, and be careful.
Ghosting- While this term is relatively new, the act of ghosting existed long before the dawn of online dating. This act has happened to 50% of online daters and perpetrated equally by both sexes and what it means is someone you are dating suddenly stops making any contact, giving no signs at all that they are interested anymore. They totally ignore you and go back to where they came from - the darkness. If you met online and have no mutual friends it becomes much easier. They cut all connections and just disappear. NO explanations, nothing. Shows someone's maturity level and communication skills. They want the ghostee to get the hint and because they "don't want to hurt them" but in reality, this creates more confusion for the ghostee because they get no explanation.
Zombie-ing- When a 'ghost' tries to re-insert themselves into their ex-lover's life, they are like a zombie coming back from the dead. It usually takes the form of innocuous text messages "Hi, what's up" or something similar.
FWB- Acronym stands for "Friends With Benefits" as you can tell from the phrase it's for people who do not want a relationship but want casual sex. So they find other befriend each other and benefit from each other. FWB, or friends with benefits, means friends who like to spend time together, aren’t officially in a relationship, and like to have casual sex here and there. If you’re looking for something more serious, you probably want to avoid messaging someone with “FWB” or “casual” in their dating profile.
Haunting- Remember ghosting? Yeah, those people who don't have it in them to talk to you about their feelings or how they don't have feelings anymore. Well, if they decide to make a reappearance, that's called haunting. But, instead of having any direct contact with you, they will like or follow your social media. like the creep they are. And again they don't have it in them to contact you directly.
Slow Fade- The 'slow fade' is a move used by daters when they want to cut ties without any drama- or decency- of a proper conversation. people slowly reduce the amount of communication before it eventually dwindles into nothingness. Warning signs include slower text responses, unanswered phone calls, and unwillingness to arrange future plans. When you start 'talking' to someone but you realize you're really not interested, so you 'slowly fade' out of the relationship and then out of their life. It is indeed like ghosting but just happens in a slower way.
Sliding into My DMs Like- You’re casually going about your business on social media when suddenly you get a flirtatious direct message (DM) from a stranger. You can say they “slid into your DMs like” because they moved a romantic conversation from a public forum to a private forum (your DMs). There are many memes about this term because it is very common, but at the same time not always wanted or warranted.
Netflix and Chill- No, "Netflix and chill" does not mean getting together and watching a movie. It means to get together, turn on Netflix (maybe), and get it on. Definitely, watch out for this term when a prospective date plans your night so you know what you’re saying yes to.
Shipping- The true mark of a full-blown relationship is when it is endorsed or 'shipped' by the couple's nearest and dearest. To “ship” a couple is to support or approve of their relationship. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer to platonic ones as well. (Just think of "shipping" as short for "relationSHIP").
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